quoteMay 15, 2013 2:28 pm
quoteMay 14, 2013 1:21 amSarah Kay and Phil Kaye, “An Origin Story” (via ugh)
photoMay 11, 2013 5:04 pm
photoApr 24, 2013 1:02 am
I would have to say that I’m pretty strongly in agreement with this view - even as my husband, lounging next to me, calls it “pure radical craziness” in his imitated Irish accent (one of many impersonations of which this man is capable).
Though, I might dare to put the bacon after the avacado. Mmmmhmmm.
I love french fries they are my second favorite food, behind bacon, and in front of avocados.
textMar 13, 2013 4:51 pm
Yeah. I’m definitely playing catch up.
Let’s see. Since I last posted anything of substance here, consistently, I made it through my most difficult term yet, we started a junior youth group, took a few road trips, ran a few loads of laundry, and didn’t burn the house down. I’m feeling pretty darn accomplished.
Fall term ended toward the latter half of December, and you’d think I would have had time to keep up with something (this blog, among other things) that I really want to maintain regularly for myself and family far away. But apparently one needs a few months to recuperate from, not just fall term, but the last eight months. They have included summer term (harder than this last fall term if only because it’s twice as fast), a two-pronged root canal (after the tooth died - something I would gladly trade for childbirth any day), a couple of weeks alone while hubby was off in a very remote field sampling location, oh, and then hubby’s new job.
Yup, that began right after fall term ended.
So all of that may come across sort of complain-y, but I can assure you that while I am quite open and willing to share my challenges, I am equally, if not more, aware and appreciative of our blessings over the last several months. One of which is said job.
Alex had been working at his first, straight-out-of college job for five and a half years. He started just before we got married - and I mean just. To the point that we could take a three day honeymoon because it was too soon to ask for any more time off than that. The job was great for long enough, but once we moved to Oregon, and he transferred to the Portland office, communications with his boss got harder to manage than they already were. Work became tedious. And rather uninspiring.
Alex is as steadfast as they come. We had just had Jasper around the time work started to suck the life out of him. But he kept on keeping on because he was the provider for me and Jasper while he was at his smallest.
His new job is glorious. It’s the opposite of tedious and uninspiring. It’s the opposite of easy. And he’s as happy and fulfilled as I’ve seen him since he first started his straight-out-of-college position when you feel like that degree you spent however much on is actually worth something. And that makes me so, so happy. There are few things like watching your most-loved-one go through such feelings of confusion, and uncertainty about their life, and their worth, and their abilities. There is even less like seeing your most-loved-one overcome that and surge upward into a realm of endeavor that refreshes, invigorates, and challenges him, but - even better - that also provides him with an opportunity to truly serve others, while subsequently growing himself. We should all be so lucky and blessed.
My main endeavor since Fall term ended has been to narrowly escape Spring term classes. …no, actually because of a glitch in my schedule last summer, I had no more classes to take this Spring until I pass my Midpoint Review - a thesis proposal, and portfolio review. Here you can see a bit of what I’ve been working on. I’m pretty darn excited to be able to design my own focus for the next year and a half or so. I’m even more excited about what I am going to design.
Jasper is, of course, ever more adorable, and amazing to us. He’s talking like a frickin’ 10 year old or something. It’s surprising. And I have to remind myself sometimes that he’s still two, haha! He loves to sing songs, and play his array of instruments. He’s sweet, and social, and playful and has the best laugh in the world. The intention here is to inundate you with pictures of videos of him, so I need not say more for the time being. :)
Lastly, we’re moving! But more on that later.
photoMar 01, 2013 1:24 am
quoteFeb 28, 2013 10:26 pm
textFeb 13, 2013 1:20 pm
As a means of holding myself accountable, I’m attempting to articulate here the facets of my self that I am seeking to refine, to better. When one is overwhelmed with the magnitude of the task, and the accompanying emotion of that, sometimes all that can be done is to write. At least all I can do is write. It is my meditation. And therefore my prayer.
I’ve been stuck in a wash of hurt, confusion, desperation, anger, and fear, off and on for about two years. Much of the strength of those feelings has since ebbed, but then, like an unwelcome (are they ever welcome?) jack-in-the-box, a moment of that pain will suddenly jump at my face with a menacing look, and no amount of compassion. My whole being cringes, my breath stops short, and any bit of composure or strength I had is overcome.
But that isn’t all. The backlash may be worse. I’m just tired. So tired of experiencing those exhausting emotions, but I’m even more tired of the self-directed frustration at being unable to get past those emotions yet.
…those feelings are really not doing anyone any favors.
So then I try to remind myself of the newly reemerging sense of empowerment I am starting to feel, thanks to an incredible guide, a patient husband, and a special group of friends. This work may be highly motivated, but it is also incredibly hard. And so I find a moment to myself, and try to remember:
I will give those unwanted emotions their moment, that they might simply grow restless, tired, and move on.
I will breath. I will breath deep, generous breaths.
I will take a break away, on my own, when I begin to feel overwhelmed.
I will trust and seek my inner wisdom and intuition. They are strong, and they are mine.
I will speak when speech is needed, and I will do so with compassion, trust, and wisdom.
And I will try, over and over again, to remember to discern when something isn’t mine.
These things are my breath of fresh air.
quoteFeb 13, 2013 11:57 am